TTOT

Ten Things of Thankful 1-26-2026

My mother Thelma Laverne Hall Tomey in 1977 and my sister Paula Annette Tomey Allen holding a painting by my niece Kayla Doiron Wygal

It’s TTOT time and it would be unforgivable to myself to skip past this month. It’s a month of months and especially special to me as it’s my mother’s birthday month. Although she crossed over several long years ago, she lives in my heart every single day. It is also the month that my sister crossed over too soon. It is most fitting to place them side by side in this image window.

My sister, being four years my senior, took it to her responsibility to mother me, especially after mom passed away. Paula and I were always close, even when we weren’t, and loved each other as sisters do. Mom taught me about the life of a kind, sensitive soul who always put others before herself. She didn’t do so with words, although her storytelling was to be admired, especially the humorous stories, she moreso did this with examples. There were times, especially later in her life, when mom would have been crying over someone she was concerend about. We would talk it over and connect with the tenderness she held in her heart. I am most grateful for both of these women and wish I could sit with them. To be honest, though, I have talked to both of them since they have gone – not face to face, by spirit to spirit. When alone, my words may slip from my mouth. It’s my time to share with them and I hold it as precious. I do this with others, as well, but these two are my focus today.

Mom always like the colors of green and gold. She’s wearing a gold dress in this photo which means she was going somewhere special. It was likely that she was going out dancing with daddy. They danced often and were reminiscent of famous ballroom dancers. Daddy always said that it was mom who took the prize for dancing and he followed her lead. I am grateful that we got to go dancing with them, espcially at the NCO club on family dinner night. I did not inherit these ballroom dancing skills, but could cut a pretty good, fast dance rug. How I wish mom would have been a cancer survivor and lived longer. I am grateful for the time we had and to be able to be present.

The striped dress meant I was going to the NCO club with my siblings and parents. The shorts picture was when I was about 13 and goofing around dancing in the living room. I am pretty sure that my sister was taking the picture and likely dancing with me. The what would have been me in a red dress that belonged to my sister, was my first Valentine’s dance in 7th grade. I had a computer selected date from a fund raising event at the junior high. While I was matched and was supposed to meet him at the dance, he showed up with his own date. While I didn’t like the idea, I was relieved. I danced up a storm, so to speak, taking over the dance floor in the twist contest. I suppose that I learned early in life, that dancing it off was the way to go. I am grateful for the attitude that saved my embarrassment. Fun fact: My sister styled my hair and put makeup on me. We dyed her red dress to make it even more red. From vigorous dancing, I came home with red on the white blouse, under my arms. Another event to laugh off.

November 2013 Paula and Lisa at the hair salon. We had to get a picture with our fresh dos. It was a couple of years later when we would last see each other. I am grateful that we had this time together. Although we had the cancer challenge (she never wanted it called a battle but a belief that cancer would take a flight away) it did mean spending time together we may not otherwise have had. The cancer did go away. And I am grateful for the time we had.

That’s what I have for TTOT time this week. Blessings and Peace to you all.

Just a side note: This is Cancer Talk Week

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Announcements, awards, Book Announcements, Celebrations, poetry, writing

Congratulations to LindaAnn LoSchiavo for this Big Win!

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Get your copy today: Cancer Courts My Mother https://www.prolificpulse.com/lindaannloschiavo

Book Reviews, books, poetry

Peter Mladinic’s Book Review of “Cancer Courts My Mother” by LindaAnn LoSchiavo


Home Remedies: a review of Cancer Courts My Mother by LindaAnn LoSchiavo. Prolific Pulse Press. Raleigh, NC. November 2025

It would be hard to find a person whose life, directly or indirectly, has not been touched by cancer. Just as cancer takes many forms, people’s mental, emotional, and physical responses vary. LindaAnn LoSchiavo’s response is this book. Out of ugliness, the frightful fact cancer kills, she has wrought beauty, this sequence of poems. A reader’s appreciation of them may be heightened by taking a look at their metaphorical resonance and their distinction between honesty and artifice; and, ultimately, by considering the voice of the poet, a daughter speaking about her parents.

The book’s title Cancer Courts My Mother suggests an extended metaphor. The tenor, cancer, is a suitor. A suitor is defined as a man who courts a woman.  Although the title suggests otherwise, the woman the suitor courts is the daughter, the poet. In “Arrival” she says, “I know he’s made himself at home, the dark prince …conveying her into his sunless realm.” Yes, death is conveying the mother but it’s daughter who knows. And she is the one being courted, the one who hears the dark prince’s seductive whispers, the one for whom “terminal illness / twirls out of the speech of men.” At the end of “Tick Tick” she says, “Cancer, biding his time, taunts me.” In “Early Visit from the Grim Reaper,” “His baritone commanded me to GO!” In the “Bartering with Cancer,” the octave begins with “When medicine has nothing more to give / There’s only daughters and morphine…” And in the turn, the second half, she says, “I’m stunned.” In “Jaundice,” she says, “my mother wound up with him —Cancer —,” but in the realm of life, cancer courts the daughter, the maker of these poems.

They are interesting for their distinction between fact and fiction, honesty and artifice. Interesting, compelling, haunting. “Diagnosis” begins the sequence. Its abrupt enjambments signal an urgency that inclines the speaker towards artifice.

Transformation’s required, starting with your voice,
Hemorrhaging with euphemisms, lies. You could
Be an actor fed fake dialogue, words almost
A well-rehearsed performance. You could be-
Come an acrobat, clutching the girders of hope. A
Safety net’s missing. The laughter is a ghost’s.

The abiding artifice is the poems.

Even imagination threatened to betray
me, failing to make good on the fancies I’d hope to invent.
But pen and paper became the dependable parents I’d
always longed for. With them, I sketched realities I could
eventually escape to.

That passage is the conclusion of “Mother Magnified,” which is an honest account of the friction between the speaker and her mother, one aspect of this mother and daughter relationship. Yet another realm of reality, that not only counters the artifice “an actor fed fake dialogue” but also the wooing of “the dark prince” is the life of plants.  In “Green Nursemaid” the daughter tends her mother’s plants, “suturing new healthiness into the exhausted potting mixture.” While other flourishes of artifice appear in the forms of mythic “mermaids” and the “prayer candles” of religious ritual, the plants symbolize continual life, and, in “Living through the Dying,” which begins with the imperative “Resuscitate the wilted,” their tenacity and the poet’s.

To consider the voice in the poems is to consider the speaker, a poet facing the grim reality that many of her reading audience have faced or will face: cancer kills. The poet’s mother’s suffering is terminal; then there’s her father’s suffering and her own. Her voice, what is said, and how, reflects the human heart in conflict with itself. Signs that say Fuck Cancer are brandished by people who hate the thing that is killing their love ones. I love, I hate —they suggest, conveying that conflict. The poet’s “realities” she “could escape to” suggests her speaking, and putting pen to paper is cathartic. She is also defiant. In “Early Visit …” the reaper says, “GO! She says “No!” 

Cancer Courts My Mother consists of poems in free verse and in tradition forms. While its rhymes resolve, there is no closure; the poet’s turmoil remains. Cancer took her mother. A mother’s suffering and eventual absence, left a daughter and a spouse/ father to grieve. The poet’s grief is poignantly conveyed throughout this sequence. Towards the end she says, “When my mother died, she took home along with her.”

Order “Cancer Courts My Mother”

Peter Mladinic was born and raised in New Jersey. He graduated from the University of Minnesota in 1973 and earned an MFA in Creative Writing at the University of Arkansas in 1985. Professor emeritus at New Mexico Junior College, where he was a member of the English faculty for thirty years. During that time, he was a board member of the Lea County Museum and president of the Lea County Humane Society. He is the author of several poetry collections.